The Importance of Pre-Marital Preparation
The most recent statistics indicate that the average American wedding involves an expenditure that falls between $25,000-$30,000. The cake, the flowers, the dress and all the intricate details can add up quickly throughout the planning process. However, more often than not, one of the most important aspects of marriage preparation is forgotten about or pushed to the side. It is not uncommon for couples to view pre-marital counseling as an extra or optional expense that may not even be necessary. Pre-marital counseling is a primary indicator for a couple’s relational success, but is often not considered or included as a line item within the wedding budget. Throughout numerous research studies, pre-marital counseling has been proven to equip couples with various tools to overcome inevitable conflicts, along with assisting them in conflict resolution and effective communication techniques. Counseling can also help couples come to an agreement on realistic expectations of one another, which is an area most couples struggle with during the first year of marriage. Another important aspect of pre-marital counseling incorporates discussion about each partner’s family history. This will allow the couple to discuss family roles and differences within their family of origin, in order to develop a shared vision for their own marriage.
The most recognized form of pre-marital counseling would be in a counseling office with a professional counselor. This often entails administration of tests such as Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis® (T-JTA), which allows couples to measure their own personality traits, as well as understand each other’s differences and gain awareness of potential challenges with their partner. Life Innovations, Inc. offers the PREPARE program, which identifies strengths and growth areas for couples, to include active listening, assertiveness, family backgrounds and marital expectations.
Pre-marital counseling in a traditional office setting can be intimidating for many people. As a result, there are many different options available for couples to assist them in preparing for their marriage. One setting would be a weekend retreat designed for engaged couples to come together with other engaged couples. This setting often entails professional speakers leading discussions on various aspects of marriage, along with hands-on relationship building activities in the wilderness through ropes courses, hiking and games. An example of this type of retreat can be found at http://www.winshape.org/marriage/.
Another option for pre-marital preparation would be through attending a one day workshop, in which professionals present on key issues in marriage that can commonly cause conflict or distress within a marriage. This counseling option enables couples to sit back and relax in an environment that is less intrusive than traditional counseling. This type of setting is often interactive, while providing a casual environment for couples to gain knowledge around important marital topics.
Some form of pre-marital preparation is a proven progression toward success rates in marriage. It allows the couple to initiate steps for a strong foundation, while discussing important topics such as family, finances, roles and personality traits. It can also offer education in the areas of conflict resolution and communication techniques, which provide couples with a roadmap for dealing with difficult issues. I highly recommend that some form of pre-marital preparation be included within the budget and planning for the wedding. This could prove to be one of the most beneficial investments you will ever make from the perspective that it is difficult to put a cost on the value of knowledge and preparation that will strengthen and sustain your new life together.